Movie Reviews - March to May! (i didn’t finish this post, my fat fingers pressed send too early)

Wowie I watched a lot of hecking movies during this time! Some good, some bad, some amazing, either way I’m here to talk about each one with you lovely people :slight_smile: Also these are NOT in order, and alot of these are just by what i watched during these three months, some mightve been released awhile back and I watched them this month, but whatever. Let’s start this :slight_smile:

Alita: Battle Angel - 90%

This quickly became one of my favorite action films of all time, and Alita became one of my favorite cinematic characters of all time also. Yeah, some scenes can be very cheesy, but I think thats because James Cameron wanted to make it seem like an anime since Alita comes from a Manga, and It worked on that aspect. The fighting scenes are insanely good and stuff i’ve never seen before, the actors and actresses do amazing, and the scenery is so cool too! I’m already anticipating the day they release this on DVD, and I can’t wait. A high recommendation if you like movies in general or anime.

Shazam! - 70%

Shazam! Is a pretty fun comedy super hero movie. Would I call it one of the best? God no. Best in the DC world? I’d say better than anything they’ve released recently. It’s a funny movie with a lot of funny moments and all the actors do good and I especially love the family in this, but where does it get bad? The villain. He’s cliche and boring, regular old villain. They do have a clever scene where the villain is monologuing towards Shazam, but they are very spaced out so he can’t hear him. It’s funny, its charming, thats about it.

Swiss Army Man - 75%

This movie is on all sorts of “What The Fuck” moments. I think that’s where it gets it’s idea and story, and I think the movie does that very well and the soundtrack is really fun, the story is fun, and the movie is… well I don’t think it holds up well. It’s not a movie that should really leave you blown away and impacted, it’s more of a movie that is “oh that was indeed a movie” it’s better than fine, but in my opinion, not as good as reviewers are saying it is.

The Founder - 60%

This is a movie where Michael Keaton is an asshole. Mostly that’s what it is about. It’s not really entertaining but a movie that tells the history of the cooperate greedy person who turned McDonald’s into a billion dollar industry by being a complete asshole. It DOES make you hate McDonald’s though. I guess they were trying to say that he had to do all of these things? But he’s just an asshole greedy coorperate fuck. And It’s barely entertaining. So yeah, fuck this guy, but not the movie entirely.

Us - 75%

Us is not as good as ‘Get Out’, but still drives a hard hitting deep message behind it. It’s not really horror since me, the guy who can’t stand to watch a super scary scene in a movie theater so I close my eyes, watched through all of it, and it was trying to be also a Comedy? Which really just threw off the mood a lot of the times. Story wise, its pretty good. Shot wise is really beautiful and the soundtrack is too. It just wasn’t doing well for me as a horror movie, that’s all.

Captain Marvel - 70%

Brie Larson is the first ever woman superhero movie for Marvel… boy I wish it was better. It’s fine. It’s nothing really special. I do love Samuel Jackson though, he always gives a fun stellar job. Brie Larson is… very generic. So is most of these characters. I did like the twist sort of, that was slightly cool. Other than that, everything was generic. Fun? Sure. I guess. It’s nice. There’s nothing else to say about it, sadly.

Missing Link - 80%
I actually enjoyed this. It was fun, and something I wasn’t suspecting. It had a lot of British sarcastic dry humor which I love a lot, I love the characters, and everything looks visually beautiful and nice. I mean yeah, the story is sort of generic, but its fun either way. I like what they did with the female lead too, it’s good to see a twist where in the beginning youre like “ugh theyre gonna do that ‘i hate you’ then ‘i love you’ trope.” Its cool. Also, I think it’s interesting the movie is questioning evolution as a kids movie, thats new, and it’s cool. Basically questioning old ways on how to do things and all of that. I like it, it was fun, definitely a diamond in the ruff.

Bumblebee - 60%

I find it funny how much praise this movie got. I think people were just amazed it wasn’t a bad transformers film. Its… ugh. Its definitely more fun and way better then a transformers movie. But, a transformers movie normally sucks. This… is average. Bumblebee is a cute lovable character, I liked the girl in it which, the movie is so forgettable, I forgot her name. There’s a generic love interest, generic story, somereason John Cena is in this and the movie has awkward acting too. But the action was pretty okay, it wasnt shaky cam, so thats good. Buuuut it’s overall just average. Barely above it if anything.

Avengers: End Game - 100%

If you haven’t seen this movie yet, do so. It’s not just an amazing superhero movie, it’s an amazing movie in general. Probably the best of this century, in my opinion, so shut up and watch this glorious movie in all its beauty right now.

Aladdin - 30%

I already reviewed this recently, just see the regular one. This is shit. It deserves to be shit and it should drown in it because its bad. Not as bad as i thought it would be, but i thought it would fail on all accounts. But it fails just not as hard. Basically its like getting a 59 on a math test and being surprise it isn’t a -100.

Fuck you discount dollar store good will jafar.

That’s about it for these last months. I haven’t really seen anything else. If you guys want me to review something, please tell me. I would love to :slight_smile: anyways goodbye ily queens wowie


Your reviews are spoiler-free and I love it!


Shshshshsh i didnt finish the post yet <3

1 Like

Okay now I did it

1 Like

I love your reviews, and i mostly agree, i love alita battle angel, it was so good.


I feel like infinity war was better than endgame. Total fan service was amazing and all, but it didn’t really get good til later, meanwhile infinity war maintained and even elevated at many points the tensions and hype that it had. It just did everything better and felt like the narrative was achieved to its fullest, which I don’t think endgame did


I feel like everyone knew Aladdin was gonna flop.


Always enjoy reading these and getting a good laugh out of them because of your strong opinions on these movies. Reading this reminds me of this youtube channel:


I definitely enjoyed Endgame and Captain Marvel :smiley:


I can get why people say that, mostly because of thanos and the ending was more unsuspected and shocking, and the last avengers movie sortof had to be fan serviced. Id say both are amazing, but i feel like the last one was way more intense and beautiful in my eyes.


I haven been to the movies since jumanji 2017. :joy::hushed: