hey so as some of you guys know, my parents are not exactly the most supportive and our relationship has slowly been getting worse and worse. Well now one of my friends just moved into a new house. And said that If I need to I can move in with him. And I really want to. But I’m under 18 so it’s technically illegal to move out. And I have no idea what my parents would do if I did.
I’m so sorry for you. It sucks that your parents don’t support your beliefs. And as for your friend, it’s probably best to wait until you’re 18, considering the law and all. But only do it if you’re absolutely sure that you want to do it. If you decide to do it, try your hardest to leave your parents on a high note. I wish you the best for your situation!
What Yoshr says!
I’d say ask if they have any questions like maybe they think that’s it’s one thing when it’s not
It’s nice to have a safe house, but speaking as a 20 year old, you’re better staying in your house as long as possible, financially. If something happens that you NEED to leave, i.e. abuse, it’s good to know you can stay there. But it’s expensive to move out and your friend probably can’t financially afford to sustain you for very long. (Plus, relationships do improve. I know I dont know your full situation, but I had a horrible relationship with my parents at 18, to the point where I was looking at getting emancipated and moving out (emancipation is when an under 18 year old legally separated from their parents and becomes independent.), but honestly, I am SO GLAD I didn’t do it. Even though emotional abuse is just as valid as physical, if it’s not to the severity where you want to either leave or die, I would try to hang in there and work on your relationship more and more. It may seem hard, especially if they arent as accepting of you, but it is worth it in the long run if any healing can be had.
And typically, the longer someone is out, the better their parents and family takes it. While there are some cases where the family never accepts them, they’re becoming less and less common. Sometimes it’s good to have the painful chat of would you rather have an alive and happy child or a dead son(or daughter, not sure how they see you)
Of course I dont know your full situation, and you need to use your best judgement when, IF, and to what severity you have this conversation (sometimes it’s better to hold out until you can support yourself financially)
You can def. DM me any time tho, I can tell ya stories of parent issues. But my main advice is to hold out. Work on your relationship with your parents. It IS two sided, and a crucial part to healing is ignoring who has the most fault. They need to work on accepting you and understanding you, but try and find something you can work on. Maybe talking more or asking them about their days more, or even just spending more quality time. (A pro tip a counselor gave me when I was your age is to act like you have a good relationship. The more you act on it, the better your relationship will get. I know I stopped talking to my parents entirely and locked them out of my life because they didnt accept me, and that made our relationship nosedive far more than it did with just them.)
this is a bit late and may not be super helpful (because I don’t know you at all), but if you decide to continue living with your parents, maybe you can work on short-term developing some safe spaces to spend time away from your family (for example, having a movie night with your friend). do things you love and try new things. give yourself an opportunity to feel like you are growing and becoming more capable. hopefully, that can help you to cope, again, in the short-term.
then, set some long-term goals. maybe that’s going to college, or getting a job and your own place when you are 18. start to take steps towards making those goals real. you could start looking at housing in your area/where you want to live, or talk to friends about becoming roommates. I think what’s really important is to make sure that you feel safe right now, and you are focused on what you want to accomplish in the future, so that even when you have rough days, you know there is something good that you are working towards.
I’m with @Yoshr