heyooo it’s me. you probably have no idea who i am. but if you’ve seen me around, i’m jay and i embarrass myself like there is no tomorrow.
i like funny/embarrassing stories, and i like sharing mine because it’s better to laugh at yourself for past mishaps than regret them forever (satan knows i regret enough things)
if you guys have an embarrassing, cringey, awkward, or funny story, please drop it below. childhood, teenhood, adulthood, whateverhood.
the world sucks. let’s brighten it up a bit and all have some laughs.
here is are a few of mine:
when i was in year 5, an upperclassman told me that org*sm was a synonym for organism. you can infer how i expressed my knowledge of such in science class the next day.
at sunday school back when i was a teenager there was this girl that took over for the class when the teacher stepped out for a minute and she asked everyone (all girls), “what do you like most about boys?”
i obviously wasn’t paying attention, i was reading a comic book inside of the bible i was holding open, so she taps me and repeats the question and i nonchalantly and without thinking or looking up from my book reply, “their girlfriends.”
cue the collective gasp and that’s how i came out to my entire sunday school class.
so i am american born, but english is my third language and i was taught it by my english aunt. because of that as a child my vocabulary was strictly ‘british’, and so one day while waiting for the lift in our building (i was 6, maybe?) this man (neighbour) walks up at the same time as me and he asks, “can you call the elevator?”. And little baby me was like, what is elevator? AmErIcA EgXpLaIn?! (please keep in mind i was just freshly exposed to english) and i look at him confused and then all around the room and then i look him in the eye and i just up and yell, “ELEVATOR PLEASE COME” with a little high pitched accent.
i have not seen anyone look so confused and amused at the same time.
when i was a toddler it took me a while to get potty trained. i was bloody reading books before i finally learned how to use the ‘potty’.
i would just go to town any and everywhere.
my gran back home in her home country in eastern europe had this neighbour who owned a syringe and every time we passed by her window she’d wave the syringe and would tell me that i would get a jab if i peed my pants.
i would go, “nnOOOOONOoooooooOOO” and squat and wave my index finger back and forth, but wouldn’t even go 3 more steps before peeing my pants.
i’m happy to announce that i am fully potty trained these days.