A communal diary

Um hi there Im just going to talk for a little about… life I think and I hope you guys can too so we can work on solving our life problems together, as one big V2 family (I kinda hope this catches on cause everyone is so kind and adopting of each other and its pretty great)

So um here’s whats going on in my life a little right now

Click here to see whats going on with me

So I will give you a little context, Im apparently a “prestigious student that is always enthused to do my work and have high expectations of me” (DEFINITELY NOT MY WORDS) but lately I have been anything but, I feel so unmotivated in any shape or form to do any school work. Obviously, I still do it because I have to but I feel myself procrastinating all the time and sometimes instead of listening I’ll usually be drawing or something like that. I am also usually quite a happy talkative person but right now I feel like Im drifting away from everyone??? Like Im about to graduate in a year and these years are VITAL but I just dont want to do anything anymore

Also, I have always highkey wanted to make a musical.ly account (for skits) or to create a youtube account (when I leave school) but Im really paranoid about judgment and confrontation, which is really rare for me because Im not usually the type of person to behave this way

Rip if you read that all and I don’t expect anyone to have any answers, I just kinda wanted to put my emotions somewhere

Also this isnt like the worst thing thats happened to me its just kinda annoying thats all lol

Please put yours below and if you feel the same way others feel tell them that because its great to feel not alone!!!

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We all go through these phases. They lay as long as you let them. Now, what I mean by that is simply this, you need to find something to reawaken your drive for learning and school work. People love to blame educators, parents, and society, but it comes down to you motivating yourself. I believe you’re at a crossroads where extrinsic motivation no longer appeals to you. You must find an intrinsic motivator, something that you want to do because you want to do it, and combine that with your education, like learning math to become a better musician or chemistry to become a better baker.

I made the mistake of expecting others to motivate me, and I lost so many years to blaming everyone but myself for my lack of time, money, and education. I’m trying to make up for it, but time doesn’t stop for anyone. It’s a sad truth but once you find that thing, whatever it is, feed that puppy until it turns into a ravenous wolf that only desires more and more and more.

Now for me:

In December my wife was diagnosed with a rare heart condition. Five surgeries and another on the way, she’s still not better, and she may never be. Her condition prevents us from starting a family, from purchasing a house (medical bills), and from me pursuing the things that feed my wolf, content creation. These forums have been great little mini releases though, so I’m grateful for that.

There are days where the only goal is to get my wife moving, as she has fallen into a depression deeper than the Grand Canyon. I can’t think of anything else, I don’t have time for anything else, just her moving, smiling, crying, ANYTHING other than her blank stare into nothingness. I fight for her because she won’t fight for herself. She’s lost her wolf (metaphors are fun!).

I don’t hate her. When we took our vows, we agreed to all the shit that comes with marriage, the ups and downs. This a down, a way way down, but the ups are always so amazing. When she giggles, when I see that smile, I’ll kick down every mental door she has to get that again. This is a momentary storm in a sea of happiness.

So that’s what’s been going on in my world. We all have shit we deal with. You have to rise above, find your motivator, and kick that fucker into high gear. Everybody is going to tell you what you want to do, but everybody ain’t you.

Kane out.

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It’s weird, because I’ve been feeling the exact same way lately. I’m sorry you’ve been going through all this. Just remember, the year’s almost over, try to finish strong!! Don’t worry about your Musical.ly or YouTube, because I’m sure they’ll be lovely to watch. Just don’t feel down on yourself, you’re awesome and can achieve great things!

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Hey dude, I hear you, I feel similar on the judgement and confrontation thing lol coming from someone who’s uploaded and deleted videos on 13 channels since 2006.

But if you just let that lead your life, you’re not going to get anywhere. I get the waiting to upload content until you’re off to uni or away from your hometown/old friends, because it can be awkward when you’re confronted face to face (I’ve had it happen…ouch).

But I know you’re a really cool and awesome person and I think you should go for it. You should keep doing what you’re doing, the anxiety and worry will subdue.
Everytime I post something, I feel a panic spread through me and I want to delete it, but then I come back to it a few hours later and wonder why I was even so panic’d (at the disco!) in the first place.

Procrastination is natural and it’s just fine as long as you’re still on track with everything. You have to intervene on yourself. If you catch yourself nodding off or doodling instead of doing your maths or physics or something, just jump back to it. That’s what I do. Become self aware.

You’re an awesome person, and I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, but I believe in you, dude~

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I really empathize with this. I used to be a straight A student. Now I’m a straight C student. all I can tell you is that Grades are just a letter, not a means to find validation in yourself. you are loved and anything you decide to do, we here will support you!

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Woah I have no idea how you’re coping right now you are a legend for sticking around with your wife because unfortunately some people wouldn’t do that, but you are and I highly commend you for it. I don’t think know what to say to help you, but here is a random idea I thought of that might get both you and your wife to feel better, why don’t you make something for her. Like a mini project cause you said you feel better when you’re creating and you could put all your emotion into that peice and I bet that she’ll love it too, even if you think it’s ugly. She’ll love it because YOU made it and that’s a beautiful thing

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@Yoshidas @jaydel @Yoshr Woah I’m not sure what to say, I wasn’t expecting anyone to reply but thank you with empathising with me and giving me motivation I’m going to try and use all of it to the best of my ability and thank you I ligit don’t know what to say :heart:️:heart:️:heart:️:heart:️:heart:️:heart:️:heart:️:heart:️

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the hearts are all you need. this is a very loving community, my dude :))

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Of course! You’re part of our family! We will always love and support you!

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You’re not alone dude. Tons of people go through the same thing, and many overcome it! I recommend watching some Youtubers and get inspired by them, but don’t get too hooked on them, or that could further distract you. Like @FiveCardsKane said, find your means to get to the end. Let’s go!

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thanks shista bless up

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Same here!! if ya need any help I’m here!

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Very true! Thank you!

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Sorry to hear about what you guys are going through. I know y’all know you have a supportive community here on the forums and I don’t know if any of you are part of a faith community or not but in any case I’ll be keeping everyone in my prayers.

Tbh, I could also use some moral support. I got hit by a car a couple of weeks ago while riding my bicycle (I did have a helmet on but still). Luckily no lasting injuries and there wasn’t any heavy traffic which was a miracle in and of itself on a main city road at 5:30 in the evening.
This has happened right in the midst of trying to find an apartment for me and my sister. We have found a place, but between being back at work part time and dealing with the insurance people it’s been stressful. I can see that this is probably just one of those minute crazy periods of transition in life but it still kind of sucks, you know?
I haven’t been as active on here as I’d like to be because of that but hopefully that will change over the summer. And if anybody needs to talk or vent I’ll definitely reply.

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Wow, that’s intense and I hope you are doing okay physically and I hope pressures of moving, insurance and work ease soon. In the meantime, I hope you try and stick with what you love doing to keep your morale up and if you need anyone to send you memes or funny videos or even just someone to talk to, Im here :slight_smile:

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Thanks bud! Much appreciated :slight_smile:

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